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Most of these jokes
were sent to me via email and are also on hundreds of websites, so the source is unknown and therefore presumed to be in the
public domain. If however I know the source, I will give due credit and provide a link back to said source where possible.
You may have heard about a new bride who was a bit
embarrassed to be known as a honeymooner.
So when she and her husband pulled up to the hotel,
she asked him if there was any way that they could make it appear that they had been married a long time.
He responded, "Sure. You carry the suitcases!"
| Click the pic below |
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| to go to the source site |
A woman phones up her husband at work for a chat.
.
Says He: "I'm sorry honey but I'm up to my neck in work today"
Says She: "But I've got some good news and some bad
news for you dear."
Says He: "OK darling, but since I've got no time now, just give me the good news, OK?"
Says
She: "Well, the air bag works...
| Click on the toon below |
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| to go to the source site |
Jill: What did your ex do for a living?
Mary:
He was a salesman.
Jill: Hmmm! Was he any good at it?
Mary: Well, he certainly sold ME a load of bullshit!
| Source unknown |
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| sent to me by a reader |
While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing
with communication, Wayne and his wife Kathy listened to the instructor, "It is essential that husbands and wives
know the things that are important to each other." He addressed the man, "Can you describe your wife's favorite flower?" Wayne
leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Champion, isn't it honey?"
The rest of the story gets
rather ugly so I'll stop right here.
| Click on the pic to go to |
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| http://www.toons.co.za/ |
Greg met Sharon on a dating site and after a
few emails and phone calls decided to meet at a local bar.
They enjoyed each other's company very much and at the end of
the evening Sharon invited Greg to her place, where they quickly got involved in a very passionate and energetic session
in bed together.
Finally, tired and satisfied, they both lay back in the bed and snuggled up close to each other. After
a short while, Sharon began tenderly stroking Greg's manhood.
Surprised but appreciative, Greg comments, "Surely you
can't be ready for more?
Sharon replies, "No, but every now and then I get a bit nostalgic, and I miss the days when I
had mine... "
| Courtesy of http://www.jillsjokeline.com |
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| Click on the toon to visit the site |
THE PERFECT MAN - author unknown
The perfect man is gentle
Never cruel or mean
He
has a beautiful smile
And keeps his face so clean.
The perfect man likes children
And will raise them
by your side
He will be a good father
As well as a good husband to his bride.
The perfect man loves cooking
Cleaning and vacuuming
too
He'll do anything in his power
To convey his feelings of love for you.
The perfect man is sweet
Writing poetry from your
name
He's a best friend to your mother
And kisses away your pain.
He has never made you cry
Or hurt you In any way
Oh,
fuck this stupid poem
The perfect man is gay
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