A good profile is very important so be honest,
because unless you join just to have a play around, you will eventually be caught out. By all means pimp your
ad up a bit like real estate agents do when advertising properties but don't over do it.
There is no right or wrong way to do it - it all depends on who
you are and who you're looking for.The first thing I would recommend you do is peruse the competition. Do a search for someone
of your own sex and approximate age and have a look at what your potential rivals have written about themselves. This will
give you some ideas (there's nothing wrong with a little borrowing) and will also give you the opportunity to try and think
of something different.
Most agree that a little humour is good for the mix (people of both
sexes seem to be attracted to that). Take the time to write your profile well. Get someone you trust to help you if need be.
Poorly constructed or incomplete sentences, text speech, bad spelling, poor grammar etc generally give a poor impression,
and suggest that you're not really giving the whole matter a great deal of time or thought. If you're serious, take the time
to make the best first impression you can.
Just as important as writing a good profile is your choice of user name, handle, log in name
or whatever you want to call it. The second most asked question I get (after do dating sites really work?) is "why
are there so many dodgy people on dating sites?". The answer is yes, there are dodgy people on dating sites as there are
'in real life', but with the relative anonomous nature of the internet, and more people surfing the net than are haunting
bars and clubs etc, it stands to reason there will be more on internet dating sites. So, your choice of user name can
often attract the dodgy element, and names like 'sexy-kitten'....'fun-girl-for-u' etc DO attract the predators. Going
by the extensive amount of feedback I've had since starting this site, women just roll their eyes and click next if they
get messages from men with names like mike_69 etc, so think carefully about your choice of name.
Your name can be gender neutral because all the dating sites I've ever seen have different
colours for male and female names, so all other members know what gender you are. Promoting ones sex or sexuality is
not required unless you are seeking sexual flirting. If you choose a name similar to the ones I've mentioned, you only have
yourself to blame if you get more than your share of unwanted/inappropriate messages.
Tip: If you join more than
one dating site, try to use the same name. The reason for this is because some sites don't allow non paying members to initiate
contact, and once your name 'gets known' search engines will list it and anyone who wants to contact you and can't, just needs
to google your name to get contact details. It's also handy to use your MSN or yahoo messenger name so people can bypass
the no pay no message rules. If your dating site name is different to your say MSN name, just create a new MSN name.
All sites have their share of females pretending to be males, males pretending to be lesbians
etc but more about that on the 'who joins' page.
Should you include a picture? Most sites will encourage you to do
this, promising a higher hit rate for your profile if you do. My advice is that you don't if you find it uncomfortable, at
least not in your profile itself. Some sites allow photos to be hidden, but available to ones you allow on your contacts list. If
you must include a photo (or you really really want to because the site tells you that some people only browse profiles with
photos) then include one of something else (your pet, or your teddy bear or whatever). It may even be a better attention grabber.
The sites will usually allow you to send your picture to people you've contacted and are more sure about at a later stage,
but initially, for your own security and to prevent your friends or workmates finding you and having a field-day, I suggest
you refrain.
Having said that though, and to contradict myself, a photo of yourself
will increase your hit rate providing you are average to good looking, and save disappointment later if you're butt ugly.
It's believed by many that no photo equals ugly, so you decide.
Try to avoid things like, "I love strolling along the beach
at sunset sipping red wine." Sure, many of us do, but a quick look at Orewa, Oriental Bay or New Brighton beaches would have
standing room only if it were so.
Like I said above, there's nothing wrong with pimping your profile up a bit like real estate
agents do with properties, but don't over do it. Unfortunately most people do overdo it by adding an inch to their height,
lopping a couple of years off their age, or a few kgs off their weight. Some even have photos that are many
years old (one woman I met admitted her photo was 11 years old!)....Do they really think people won't notice?
